Young Chinese are sharing detailed "résumés" of ex-partners online to vouch for them, mixing humor with genuine matchmaking. This viral trend highlights a search for trusted connections amid dating app fatigue, using structured reviews covering traits, habits, and even "user manuals." Some referrals have led to successful matches.
A new dating phenomenon is taking Chinese social media by storm: young people are treating their former partners like job referrals, complete with résumés, performance reviews, and even user manuals.
Dubbed "ex-partner referrals," the trend began with a viral post from a frustrated singleton who asked: "Can any sisters refer me to their ex? If I don't find a normal guy soon, I might need to start drinking herbal medicine to rebalance myself."
The response was overwhelming. Comment sections flooded with women pitching their ex-boyfriends with the enthusiasm of seasoned HR recruiters.
"Born 1995, 183cm, works at a state-owned enterprise, emotionally stable, can cook. Downside: a bit of a mama's boy. Worth considering," one user wrote.
Another offered a current partner on contingency: "How about my boyfriend? If we break up, I'll let you know. He's actually quite generous."
To boost credibility, some even cited references in academic style: "Based on three years of first-hand experience."
The format often mimics a structured résumé:
Location: Shanghai | Age: 28 | MBTI: ISFJ | Zodiac: Cancer
*Strengths: 185cm, fair-skinned, public sector job, emotionally rock-solid*
Weaknesses: Poor kisser, trash-talks during video games
Condition: 90% new — no domestic violence, no infidelity. Broke up due to long distance.
Helpful netizens have gone a step further, drafting "User Manuals for Ex-Boyfriends" detailing quirks, preferences, and intimate habits: morning soy milk, nighttime teeth-grinding, half-hour of coaxing when upset, and lights-off preference during sex.
Some posts take an unexpectedly extreme turn. One woman offered up her own husband: "I can refer my husband to you. If needed, I'm willing to divorce him. My kid is grown, I don't need him anymore. He's great with children, works from home, does chores. 120-square-meter apartment in Beijing. In-laws are old — probably won't be around in a few years. If he's a good fit, I can divorce him right away."
Surprisingly, some referrals actually work. One netizen shared that after a woman moving abroad amicably broke up with her boyfriend and recommended him online, the referral recipient met him — and they turned out to be a perfect match.
Behind the humor lies a deeper unease. For many young Chinese, dating apps are minefields of scammers, pickup artists, and heavily filtered photos. Trust is scarce, and the cost of a bad match is high.
So they turn to strangers who share something valuable: first-hand data, no filter required.
Source:
Editor: Crystal H
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